Breakups don’t just break hearts, they break the routine that you’ve built over time. When you lose a relationship, you lose the scaffolding that held your days together, from the morning WhatsApp check-ins to the after-work debrief, and even the shared Sunday rituals. All of it suddenly gone, replaced with a heavy ache and a glaring blank space on your calendar.
That’s why starting over after divorce or heartbreak isn’t really about ‘moving on’. It’s about rebuilding structure, and through that structure, slowly finding clarity again.
At Planet Fitness, we’ve seen this truth play out first-hand. Earlier this year, in partnership with Brad and Jaco, we ran the DadBod Challenge – a meticulously designed training and nutrition programme that supported men in transforming not just their bodies, but their lives.
Many of these men were navigating major life changes like separation, divorce, and the long tail of pandemic burnout. The gym became their anchor point – a space to channel pain into discipline, and discipline into transformation.
So this right here isn’t a breakup blog. It’s a discipline story in disguise. Let’s unpack the hero’s journey at play.
The Trigger for Change
If you’ve read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, you’ll know that habits run on a loop: cue, routine, reward. Break the loop, and chaos creeps in.
Nowhere is this more true than in the aftermath of heartbreak. The loss of relationship cues leaves an emotional vacuum. Instead of reaching for training clothes, you might decide to sink into the comfort of the couch. Instead of nourishing meals, you might opt for takeaways and endless scrolling. Sleep? Forget about it.
In South Africa, this is no small social story. In 2022 alone, 20,196 divorces were granted, which is up 10.9% from the previous year (Stats SA). Over half of these divorces (55.3%) involved children under 18. That’s a lot of adults navigating fractured routines while still needing to show up for others.
For the men in our DadBod Challenge, the trigger for change was often this sense of spiralling, which sounded something like, “I’m not okay. I can’t keep going like this.”
That single thought is the cue. And it’s powerful.
The New Routine of Training, Small Wins and Discipline
- Progressive training plans with a focus on strength and functional conditioning
- Meticulous eating plans designed by nutrition experts
- Community check-ins with Brad, Jaco, and Planet Fitness coaches
- A supportive peer group sharing the same vulnerable space
Reap the Rewards of Clarity, Calm and Control
This is where the loop is finally complete. When the cue is chaos, and the new routine is training, the reward isn’t just physical transformation. It’s clarity. It’s calm. It’s a felt sense of I am okay, and I can hold this.
Participants in the Planet Fitness DadBod Challenge often reported an emotional reset alongside their physical progress, “I thought I needed to feel better about my ex. What I actually needed was to feel stronger in myself.”
That’s the real reward right there. Training doesn’t erase grief or regret, but it certainly creates a parallel track for growth. It gives your nervous system proof of resilience.
The most reassuring part is that science backs this all the way. Regular strength training has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, while improving emotional regulation (Frontiers in Psychology, 2020). In other words: training helps your body hold hard emotions without spiralling.
For the dads in our challenge, this often had ripple effects at home. Rebuilding physical structure helped them show up more present for their kids, colleagues, friends – and for themselves.
You Don’t Have to Be Over Them To Show Up for You
Train your way to feeling healed and whole.
You don’t need closure. You need a routine that reminds you who you are.
