We love a good shortcut. A hack. A trick to make life faster, easier, cleaner. But here’s the plot twist: the things that make us better (more focused, grounded and resilient) don’t come wrapped in convenience. They show up as friction, or a challenge…or simply as discomfort.
When teens learn to sit with that discomfort instead of running from it, they unlock something way more valuable than instant wins. They prime themselves to build long-term grit, confidence, andthe kind of identity that holds up under pressure.
Life is a Game of Endurance, Not Just Talent
In a now-famous study, psychologist Angela Duckworth looked at what made top performers stand out. These were not just high school students or athletes. They were spelling bee finalists, military cadets, and corporate leaders. She expected to find that talent, intelligence, or income level would be the difference-makers.
But what she actually found was something else entirely: grit. The willingness to keep going when things got hard. The ability to stay focused on a goal even when the initial motivation faded. And most importantly, the belief that effort matters more than instant results.
This idea is a direct challenge to how many teens experience the world right now. Most of theirlives are designed around frictionless interaction: tap, scroll, next. The second something feelshard, confusing, or slow? It’s easy to assume something’s wrong. And, the assumption that struggle equals failure is exactly what holds them back.
Discomfort Is a Superpower If You Know How to Use It
Let’s talk about discomfort – not as something to fear, but as something to train with.
A foundational study in psychology, the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, tested kids’ ability to delay gratification. A marshmallow now, or two marshmallows later. The kids who waited? Years later, they had better academic performance, higher SAT scores, and stronger stress management skills.
But here’s what gets overlooked: the struggle to wait wasn’t about willpower. It was about learning how to handle discomfort – to resist the urge to grab the marshmallow right now – and sit with that feeling and the sensations it brings.
That’s what teens need practice in today. Not avoiding stress, but managing it. This means:
- Staying in the frustration of not understanding a concept yet
- Working through awkward social dynamics without ghosting
- Pushing through a training session when everything hurts
Small Struggles Build Big Grit
If you want to raise someone who can handle the big stuff, give them the chance to wrestle with the small stuff.
James Clear, in Atomic Habits, makes this point loud and clear: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.” It’s not one big heroic moment that builds resilience. It’s repetition. Showing up when it’s raining. Getting back on task after failing a test. Not quitting the team after an injury or one bad match.
Examples of micro-challenges that add up:
- Studying for 15 minutes instead of defaulting to TikTok.
- Finishing a group project even when teammates aren’t pulling their weight.
- Following through on a personal goal, like writing every day or completing a difficult training plan.
The Secret to Staying Committed When Motivation Ghosts You
The biggest myth around success is that it’s driven by motivation. Spoiler: motivation flakes. It’s here one minute, gone the next. What actually keeps people going is structure – small systems that make it easier to follow through when energy is low.
Behaviour scientist, B.J. Fogg, breaks this down in his research on habit formation.
Instead of asking teens to make massive changes, he suggests starting with habits so small they feel silly: 2 push-ups. One minute of journaling. Reading one page. Why? Because small is sustainable. And sustainability wins.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
- Want to write more? Start with one paragraph a day.
- Need to build training consistency? Schedule 10-minute sessions first.
- Trying to build better sleep habits? Commit to powering down screens just 5 minutes earlier.
When Teens Take the Hard Road, They Learn to Trust Themselves
Here’s the real payoff of embracing challenge. It’s not just about achieving a goal, it’s about who you become in the process.
When a teen sticks with a demanding project, or follows through on a tough training schedule despite sore muscles and zero motivation, they prove something deeper to themselves. Not just that they’re capable, but that they can count on themselves when things get hard.
That’s where real confidence comes from. Not compliments. Not grades. Not awards. But from the internal evidence that “I’ve faced hard things and didn’t bail.”
This mindset sets them up not just for academic or athletic wins, but for real-world resilience. For things like tough job interviews and even relationship struggles.
As Duckworth put it, “Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.” And long-term goals demand short-term discomfort. That’s not weakness, it’s the entry fee for anything meaningful.
Help Teens Build Mental Strength by Normalising Challenge
If we want teens to be ready for real life, we have to stop treating struggle like a red flag.
So what can we do?
- Share stories of your own growth through challenge, not just highlight reels.
- Celebrate effort and process, not just results.
- Create low-stakes spaces where teens can try, fail, adapt, and see that as progress.
Teens Train Free
As a Planet Fitness member you can add up to 4 teen dependants to your membership, without it costing you an extra cent.
